7 Powerful Ways Motherhood Stretches You (for the Better) | Abbie Halberstadt

Episode Transcript

FamilyLife Today® with Dave and Ann Wilson; Podcast Transcript

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You Bet Your Stretch Marks

Guest:Abigail Halberstadt

Release Date:September 2, 2025

Abbie (00:00):

I would actually much rather be a very imperfect mom for my kids that when I do screw up, I give them the example of confessing and repenting than to hide it all and pretend like I was always right. They get to situations in their life where they clearly are not right and they’re too prideful to repent because I’ve set that example for them. Or they get to parenting, and they start thinking “I’m broken. My mom was perfect.” Instead of showing them that you’re human and you’re desperately in need of a Savior, because that’s ultimately what will point them to the cross.

Dave (00:35):

We have Abbie Halberstadt in the studio talking about a book title I am not even going to say.

Ann (00:40):

I think it’s coming out today. It’s called You Bet Your Stretch Marks. Abbie, I am excited about this book and congratulations because it’s launching this week.

Abbie (00:50):

Yep, yep. It’s pretty exciting.

Ann (00:52):

So this is an unusual title. The book cover is beautiful, but tell us, like explain the title because I think you have to.

Abbie (00:59):

Yeah, so I—

Dave (01:00):

Yes, you have to, especially for the men.

Abbie (01:03):

Yes, for the men.

Ann:

I got it and I laugh like, “Oh, this is going to be good.”

Abbie:

That is the response from women, moms particularly, that they stare at me for just a second and then they just burst out laughing.

Ann (01:13):

Yes.

Abbie (01:14):

They’re like, “Yes, that.”

Dave (01:16):

Wait, wait. I got to see, is this your title? You came up with it?

Abbie (01:18):

Yes.

Dave:

How?

Abbie:

So I was writing a social media post years ago and I was trying to make an emphatic point about motherhood and kind of saying like, “We’re in this hard season and this is happening and we’re being stretched and all this stuff, but is it worth it?”

(01:39):

And I don’t know, that’s just what came to my brain. I’m like, “Yes, you bet your boots. No, that’s not right.” You bet your—what is going to rally every mom so that because we have the shared experience, whether or not we physically have the stretch marks, we get it. Motherhood changes your body. It changes your soul. It changes your character. It pushes you beyond what you think you have the ability to stretch to, and that is just what came out and the response to that post was immediate. I mean, just every comment was, “I’m using that,” “I want it on a t-shirt,” “I want it on a key chain.” What a great reminder of what happens to us and the reason for it being so good.

Ann (02:22):

We are different people when we have a child.

Abbie:

Absolutely.

Ann:

We totally change hopefully for the better.

Abbie (02:28):

Hopefully.

Ann (02:29):

Sometimes it doesn’t look like that in the midst of it, but you have ten children, two sets of twins, and so if anybody has an authority to say, “It’s changed me,” it would be you.

Abbie (02:40):

Well, and it’s so funny because you say that and I immediately want to demure. I want to be like, “No, not me, not”—but you know what? I think that given where the Lord has placed me now that I’m actually really grateful that he gave me, I’m so grateful that he gave me 10 kids because I love my children, but that number in some people’s minds gives me some authority.

Ann:

It does.

Abbie:

Because then when I speak God’s Word—because it’s not my authority that matters. It’s the Word of God—some people are more likely to listen.

Ann (03:11):

There’s an immediate respect like, “Oh, this girl’s been through it. She understands, and if anybody can say, ‘I’ve been stretched.’” Most of us can say you’ve been stretched more than we have.

Dave (03:22):

Some have little stretch marks; some have a lot more. I don’t mean literally, but yeah.

Ann (03:24):

Which is crazy. You don’t even have stretch marks, but you do in life.

Dave (03:29):

How do you know?

Ann (03:31):

She told me.

Dave:

Oh, okay.

Abbie (03:32):

Physically, I’ve got them on my hips just from like being a middle schooler. You’re like, “What’s this?” But on my belly, I don’t, which I find so interesting because how did that even happen? I did not use some sort of magic cream. I guess it’s just genetics. I have no idea.

Ann (03:45):

Because every woman would want to know that if she heard that. “What did you use?”

Abbie:

This is going to be such an uncomfortable episode for Dave. I’m so sorry.

Dave (03:52):

I’ll be back.

Ann (03:55):

No, you won’t. This is great.

Abbie (03:55):

He’s going to go take a nap.

Ann (03:56):

It’s good for men to get it.

Dave (03:58):

She’s a fitness instructor, no wonder.

Abbie (04:00):

No, I really don’t think that that’s it. I really think that it just happens, or it doesn’t. But I can tell you this, not one single mom escapes from some physical evidence of having had children.

Ann (04:12):

Even a mom that’s had miscarriages.

Abbie (04:14):

Yes, yes.

Ann (04:15):

Maybe you don’t have a child, a bio child of your own in the home, but that miscarriage—because that’s a mom. You’re a mom and that has stretched you. That’s been a hard stretch.

Abbie (04:26):

And I will say for those that are like, “Well, lucky you.” I will say I have a leg length discrepancy thanks to my second born, like literally.

Ann:

Wait, is this a thing?

Abbie:

Yes. So when you have babies, obviously everything has to move. Like your hips and your joints and all the things—organs, and so I’m trying on clothes at 25 after I have my second baby, and I was so angry at the quality control of all of these manufacturers who could not make pants the same length until finally six pants later. I was like, it’s not the pants.

Ann:

Oh, it’s me.

Abbie:

It’s me. One of my legs—

Dave:

Significantly, like an inch?

Abbie:

—is like almost an inch.

(05:04):

Yes. And it’s not that one leg is actually longer. It’s that my sacrum, which is part of your hip and pelvic structure, is actually twisted now so that—

Ann:

You can’t go to a chiropractor for that?

Abbie:

You can, but it doesn’t. I mean when it’s that twisted, it doesn’t stay in alignment. Now you can’t look at me and see it, but when I wear shorts, one side of the shorts pulls up because there’s just something that’s a little bit—or I have a twisted rib that literally sticks out that—also my second born. He did a doozy. He was 24 inches long and nine pounds, two ounces.

Ann:

What?

Abbie:

He was two feet long. They measured him three times and got 24 inches and then one time got 23.5 and they wrote down 23.5 because they were like, “There’s no way he’s—

Ann:

I never heard of a baby that long.

Abbie:

So long, and I tell you, coming out of my body, I remember thinking, “I’ve got to be done. This has to be done.”

Ann (05:51):

He’s got to be out.

Abbie (05:51):

And he just kept coming. So it felt like 24 inches for sure. I do natural labors and it, woo wee, that was a lot. I’ve got all kinds of other things that’s like proof. I tell you what, every mom listening to this needs to hold up probably her left arm if she’s right-handed and look on the inside of her wrist and see if she has these lines that go down. Mine aren’t really obvious right now. I don’t know why that is. Maybe I’m nice and hydrated or something, but they are lines—

Dave (06:21):

What is happening right now?

Abbie (06:22):

—that go down the inside of your wrist and do you know what they’re from? They’re from holding babies on your hip for years and years and years.

Ann (06:29):

Do I have those?

Abbie (06:31):

And they do fade over time.

Dave:

It’s been a while for us.

Ann:

Yeah, mine aren’t babies anymore.

Dave (06:36):

You do have lines on there.

Abbie (06:36):

But literally I can in the right lighting, this is really good lighting in darker lighting, I can hold up my right wrist and I don’t have any of them. My left wrist, I have all these lines on it.

Ann:

You know what, these are our warrior—

Abbie:

They’re badges.

Ann (06:49):

—badges of honor.

Dave (06:50):

Well that’s—that leads to a great question. Some women would say, “I don’t want that. Having babies ruins my body, ruins my life, ruins my career, ruins my marriage.” What do you say?

Abbie (07:04):

Well, let’s start with the body one. And again, I don’t want to make you feel too uncomfortable, but do you really think your breasts are going to stay perky for the rest of your life?

Dave:

I’m hoping mine are.

Ann:

I love we’re going here.

Abbie:

Do you really think your belly’s not going to get some pudge around the middle at some point; that you’re going to look different?

Ann (07:26):

I can just say that because I’ve loved to exercise. That’s just been a part of who I am since I was a little kid.

Dave (07:33):

And we mean hard.

Ann (07:34):

I remember thinking I will never—

Dave (07:36):

She used to lead a class. I’m going to say this because she won’t. She used to lead aerobics back in the eighties when we were in seminary in California at this major club. Every guy in the place took her class because it was the hardest one. That’s how she works out.

Ann (07:49):

But I thought, and I assumed when I was that age, “I will never have that pooch.” And somebody said something about back fat. I’m like, “What’s back fat?” Hey, guess what? I know what all that is now.

Abbie (08:02):

That’s the thing, is biblically, our bodies are tools, not treasures. If you are going to hoard this treasure, you’re going to be awfully disappointed when it starts dwindling.

Ann (08:13):

It becomes an idol.

Abbie (08:14):

If you are going to use it up for the glory of God, then yeah, ask my husband. I got home the other day and was just down on myself. We’d been on vacation. I was like, “I can’t get anything to budge. My clothes don’t fit,” all these things. And he just keeps saying, “You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.” I’m like “I know, I know, I know you think that, but it’s bothering me. Okay, I don’t want to buy new clothes,” so I go there too, for sure. I can be vain. Any of us can, but ultimately, I fully acknowledge my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit to be used up for Christ. And the moment that I start worshiping it as an idol instead and making it the end goal, goodness, how disappointed I will be when what I cannot control regardless of any surgeries available out there or laser treatments or cryo or whatever anybody wants to throw at themselves, you’re still not going to be 20 again. And better to use it up in service of others and built in besties and neighbors that you can love that you turned your body inside out for, than to hoard it and be alone.

Dave (09:17):

Well said.

Abbie (09:18):

I agree.

Dave (09:19):

That’s like a sermon right there. But I got to ask this because the other side is, “Well, it’s really going to have a negative impact on my marriage.”

Abbie (09:26):

I cannot speak for every single person, although I am big on principles, I have definitely not found that to be true for mine. I think it’s because of principles that are true, not just because it’s my particular marriage.

Ann (09:39):

I think it can if you don’t have some principles in place.

Abbie (09:42):

Right. So dying to self is a scriptural principle; placing self first never is. He who follows me must take up his cross daily. The first shall be last. The last shall be first. Christ who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God anything to be grasped, humbled himself as a servant, even the point of death on a cross, which none of us very likely, very, very likely will ever be called to do. I’m sorry. That level of self-sacrifice is our standard and we’re upset that we might lose date nights or more opportunities to go on trips or have less time to just be together. I love time together with my husband, but our marriage has not been diminished by children.

Ann (10:31):

And you guys have had date nights. That is a priority too.

Abbie (10:32):

Actually, let me explain. Let me break that down.

Ann (10:34):

Yeah.

Abbie (10:35):

People are like, why do you talk about date nights so much? It’s not feasible for me. I actually think that it is. So we call them date nights, but it could look like anything. It could be date mornings, so it could be coffee, it could be an ice cream cone at McDonald’s for 20 minutes because that’s what you have. But for 10 plus years, our date nights consisted of at home date nights on Thursday night—Thursday night was the designated night. It still is—where I looked forward to that night every single week. We had spent time together throughout the rest of the week but just knowing that that specific time was coming. I would make sure my kids got up from their naps earlier so that they would go to bed earlier. I would have food ready, or we would order takeout, and we made it happen because I do think that your marriage can suffer if you don’t realize that you’re going to have to work hard to prioritize it. Work hard—I was going to say, you’re going to have to work harder to prioritize it when there are children, but I think it can be easy to coast when there aren’t children because you can take each other for granted.

Ann (11:33):

Me too; totally.

Abbie (11:33):

Whereas you are fighting for it when you have all these little—

Ann (11:37):

Because it won’t happen unless you do make it a priority.

Abbie (11:39):

You have to be so intentional.

Ann (11:41):

So, okay, so marriage doesn’t have to suffer necessarily. When you talk about in this book, the first chapter, an eternal investment, what do you mean by that?

Abbie (11:51):

I think that one of the lies that our culture has sold us is that we need to look, kind of be navel gazing and saying, “How is this affecting me now? How is this serving me now? What am I getting out of this now?” I can’t tell you how many messages I get from moms that essentially say, “Okay, so I’ve been trying this thing and it’s not working.” That’s their conclusion.

Ann (12:15):

It’s anything with their parenting do you mean?

Abbie (12:16):

Yeah, yeah. Parenting, healthy eating, potty training, attitude, help, whatever.

Ann:

No screen time.

Abbie:

Right, and you’re like, “Okay, tell me more. How long have you been trying?” “It’s been three weeks.”

(12:33):

And I’m just giggling just like I have some bad news for you. You have a lifetime of commitment not to this particular thing you’re working on because I do think we can affect change in our homes in a fairly short amount of time, turn around bad habits and then keep going down a better road. I don’t want to say everything has to be a four-year process or a lifelong process, but if you thought that you were going to snap your fingers and change this all of a sudden, you got another thing coming. So our culture basically says instant gratification, but God’s word says daily faithfulness. And if you’re not in Christ, I get why that doesn’t sound fun.

(13:16):

If you are in Christ. I get why it may not sound fun, but it does sound rewarding or it should.

Ann:

How’s it been rewarding for you?

Abbie:

Oh my goodness, I am a completely different person and praise God for that. Sometimes I have to remind myself when I see things in my kids that I’m like, “Why is she doing that?” I’m like, “You did the same thing, you doofus.” And I was a “good kid.” I followed the rules. I liked the rules, meaning I thought getting drunk was dumb because I wouldn’t be in control of my faculties and I might do something that was harmful to someone or made myself look foolish, so I wasn’t even interested. I still don’t drink. I’m just not interested, that kind of thing. That’s just an example.

So when I see my kids being immature, I think “As if you were so Suzy spiritual at 14, get a grip. You were not.” And it’s not that I’m so Suzy spiritual now, but I can definitely see the Lord’s hand at work in my life, in the areas that He has lovingly pulled me along in even when I kind of kicked and screamed and didn’t want to because it was more work, it was embarrassing to admit my faults, whatever all it is, but rewarding in the sense that I am closer to my Savior than I was before I became a mother. What better reward is there?

Ann (14:34):

Abbie, I’ve saw this as a mom. I became so desperate. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this in my own strength,” whether it be emotional things with our kids, just simple everyday kind of potty training or just the constant bickering that maybe they go through in a stage, but that made me cling to Jesus. Did that happen to you? You become so desperate.

Abbie (14:57):

Yeah, a very practical, simple example, which people are like, “Well, that’s just that one instance,” but it’s just kind of maybe a good distillation of what you’re talking about. When I was in labor with my number seven, which most of my labors are really long, I go to 42 weeks with almost all my babies. Like my first—

Ann (15:14):

No you don’t!

Abbie (15:14):

Yes, I do. I cook babies forever.

Ann (15:16):

What about the twins?

Abbie (15:17):

39 weeks and four days with my first set.

Ann (15:20):

How big were they?

Abbie (15:21):

Seven pounds and six-four. And then second set of twins was 37 weeks and two days, and they were six-fifteen and five-five or something like that.

Ann:

They were all full term.

Abbie:

A hundred percent. So I keep babies in, and I had to learn just that. I mean, I said I was going to give this example and like, “Oh, that’s just a little thing,” but honestly there isn’t a little thing. It’s a big thing. And it actually is teaching you principles that you get to carry forward to other situations. So I will tell you this, first baby was born at 39 weeks and six days. Yes, that’s correct. So I had him quote “early.” Second baby, I started having contractions because I had zero contractions with my first baby, no Braxton Hicks, no nothing. I just went into labor, was in labor for 44 hours, did not sleep for two nights, and finally had him.

(16:10):

I started having contractions with my second baby at 39 weeks and six days, and here I am dusting off my shoulders, look how consistent my body is. Two weeks later I finally have him, and I have almost lost my ever-loving mind. He’s going to stay in forever. Every morning you wake up and you’re like, “I’m still pregnant.” And third baby does the same thing; 42 weeks I am ticked off at God. I am so sick of being pregnant. I’m so angry. Fourth and fifth babies were twins and had them at 39 weeks and four days. And I remember my midwife who’d been a midwife for forever, had delivered like 20 sets of twins, was completely unflappable no matter what you said. “Oh yeah, I’ve seen that before.” It was so annoying. You were trying to throw her for a loop. “What about this?” “Yeah, that’s normal.”

(16:57):

“Well, fine.” And I remember I came in at 39 weeks plus with identical twins, which if you’re in the traditional medical world, they want them coming at like 36 weeks and things like that. They consider that full terms. And she’s like, “What are you doing here? Have these babies, have the babies? Come on, Abbie.” And I was like, “I would if I could.” And they finally came four days later. So here I am dealing with these things that go really long. Guess what I started to learn? I started to learn that I could not make this happen in my own strength and you better believe I tried every tip and trick. “Have you”—”Yes.” “Did you try to”—”Yes.” “Did your husband”—”Yes, it doesn’t work.” It might produce some contractions, but those babies did not come until God was ready for them to come.

(17:47):

And let me tell you what kind of life lesson that is. So number six also went to, I think he was only “41 weeks and something”—41 weeks and six days or something like that. And I was the chilliest, 41-weeker in the world. I was like, “We’re going on dates. I don’t have a baby I have to take care of. We’re going on dates. I’m not cooking tonight. Let’s have a party until I have the ultimate responsibility again,” right? Completely change my perspective to enjoy this instead of dread this and fight it. And then the specific example I was going to give of just absolutely desperate was baby number seven. So I’m doing my typical pokey thing where it takes forever for this baby to come out, but my water broke with this one.

(18:30):

So my contractions were really erratic, but they hurt like the dickens because when your water breaks, you don’t have this cushion. You just have the baby’s head just grinding on your pubic bone. And so I’m like, this is awful, but also would it just get more awful so we can be done and it won’t? And things finally kicked in and I ended up having three hours of extremely intense labor. My labors get intense, but not where I’m like some people are crawling up the walls. It is really, really, really hard. It’s very fast like a freight train. I’ve never had that. Mine are just slow and annoying and painful.

I am in the tub and my husband, I remember usually I can talk between contractions. I couldn’t talk. I was just totally focused on trying to survive. And I remember my husband trying to pull me out of the tub because I think he thought I was trying to drown myself. I was getting lower in, because the more water over you, the less you feel the pain. And I’m like, can’t talk. I’m just kind of doing this to, I’m like, please leave me alone. And I remember the only thought I had for two straight hours was I can’t do another one, Lord, I need you to take the next one.

(19:34):

And He would take one more and I would survive it and then He would take one more and I would survive it until that baby came out. And yes, that’s a relatively short ordeal and it’s a one-time instance, but what a visual representation of those moments when we truly are desperate.

Ann (19:48):

Totally.

Abbie (19:48):

And we say, “I actually can’t do this physically in my own strength. I think I might break.”

Ann (19:53):

And I think as parents, we’ve all been at that point, “I don’t think I can do this.” And even with adult kids especially, I think the hardest thing with adult kids is I have no control over this. And that’s a really hard place to be. I feel like it can be a hard stage of parenting because you are just trusting Jesus.

Abbie (20:12):

A hundred percent.

Ann:

Yeah.

Dave (20:12):

I mean they take you to the end of yourself and we don’t want that but you’re saying that’s actually the point.

Abbie (20:20):

That is actually the point, Dave. You are absolutely right; to be taken to the end of oneself where you finally realize that you weren’t supposed to be the end all be all anyway.

Dave (20:33):

Hey, before we continue our conversation, let me just say this. We meet a ton of couples who say, “FamilyLife has helped us when we needed it the most.” And that’s what being a FamilyLife partner is all about, partnering with us to help others find that same encouragement that you found here

Ann (20:50):

And we’d love for you to join us, so click the donate button at FamilyLifeToday.com and become a partner today. Back to our conversation. Let me ask you, you’ve got some great chapters in this book. What do you think is your favorite?

Abbie (21:07):

My favorite is chapter 10, talking about mothering with a legacy mindset.

Ann:

Let’s finish with that.

Abbie:

When we forget that we are not just trying to get a kid out of our home in 18 years or whatever—I still have a 19-year-old that lives at home and is happy to do so, and we were happy to have him. And I think that is a whole other topic of the way the world sees children and parent relationships and how you’re just supposed to sever and break free all of a sudden. And sometimes they need more support and it’s an all in investment.

Ann:

Everybody’s different.

Abbie:

And so yes, exactly. We need to be sensitive to that. Some kids will need that and some won’t. And so if we can instead shift our mindset to one of, what am I doing now that will have an impact on the generation to come and the generation after that? What will they be able to say?

(22:03):

And it might be in terms of, my grandmother Abbie did this and I love that she did that and that I get to do it, but it’s the why that we did it. I don’t want them pointing back to me. I want them pointing back to what the Lord was doing in me and what I got to pass down. And I talked some when we were talking about hearts not same thing as bad and how my parents were chain breakers and gave us the opportunity and a leg up and a chair to stand on to be able to do that for our children. So I already see this principle in play, but what a bummer it would be to be handed that or even to start with the adversity and to say, “Well, it’s like the parable of the talents.”

(22:44):

You get handed this one talent and you think, “Well, that isn’t working with much. What an ungenerous master, it reaps where he didn’t sow and I’m just going to bury it.” instead of these other guys that are like, “I’m going to do something with this and for the kingdom of God, for the glory of God.” And so when we can change that and you think I’m not just training a habit out of my child so that I will have an easier life, I am helping him develop better habits so that his mind is freer to pursue things that can help him to be more like Christ. So that one day he can be a parent who loves Christ and instills that in his children, and they are able to be set free from some of their habits that might trickle down from me and from him. And each one is weaker because it says that God will curse those who curse him to the third and fourth generation, but it says he will bless those who bless him to the thousandth generation. And biblically we aren’t even there yet.

Ann:

That’s motivating, isn’t it?

Abbie:

Yes. It really inspires you to keep going.

Ann (23:40):

Yeah, I agree.

Dave (23:41):

So you sort of hit a little bit of what your goal is as a parent raising these young men and women. I mean, when we wrote our book, we were like, the secret is nobody knows what they’re trying to raise. They just have kids. And I hope they don’t get in too much trouble. I hope they’re happy. It’s like you got to have a target.

Abbie (23:58):

Yeah, happy, successful, confident kid, right? That’s the thing.

Dave (24:01):

So what’s been your bullseye? What are you guys trying to raise?

Abbie (24:05):

I mean, God willing, children who love God, who become adults who love God, who raise children who love God. We cannot guarantee that outcome, but we faithfully plant the seeds knowing the good God who brings the harvest.

Ann (24:21):

And he’s the one that does bring the harvest.

Abbie (24:22):

Yes.

Dave (24:22):

And I’m guessing, I’m looking at chapter six, you only spill what’s already inside.

Abbie (24:28):

Yeah.

Dave (24:28):

You tell me. I’m guessing it means you’re going to overflow what’s in you to your kids.

Abbie (24:34):

Yeah. So often we use the phrase, here’s a phrase that I hear all the time. This makes me so mad. This makes me crazy. My kids make me crazy. And in that chapter, my point is that your kids—I think it’s Paul David Tripp that gives the visual representation of bumping into someone. I think he uses a bottle of water, and the water comes out and it’s like, well, why did that spill out? And it’s like, because she bumped me. And it’s like, no, no. Why did water spill out as opposed to coffee or rancid milk or whatever. It’s because whatever comes out when we’re jostled by inevitably jostled by the challenges and frustrations of parenting is what was already in your heart. And what comes out of our hearts—it says, “From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” That’s what Jesus says. Not you’re good and yeah.

Ann (25:34):

Abbie, I think that to me was like I kept track of my soul based on that very thought. Because when I realized I was being critical, my thoughts were critical, my words were critical, I was in a bad mood, I thought it was always like the Holy Spirit nudged me. That’s the fruit of what you’re sowing right now. I could tell I had been distant from the Lord. But it’s kind of like John 4 with the woman at the well, when we’re connected—and even John 15—when we’re connected to the vine, we’re going to produce fruit. And I think that’s really big. I spent time with Jesus because I needed to, to produce that kind of fruit because it doesn’t come out of my own. So what’s going to spill over is what I’ve put in and that comes down to my walk with God and my—it’s a surrender every day, Lord, take my words, take my thoughts, take my actions, give me your ears, all of that, give me your eyes. It’s that simple prayer every day. And you guys, God listens to that prayer.

Abbie (26:39):

Right, it says in James that when you ask for wisdom, God gives it generously and without reproach.

Ann (26:43):

Yes.

Abbie (26:44):

And I think that we think we’re asking for something like timidly. I think I should have been able to know this on my own Lord, but do you have any tips instead of first going to the living water and using that as your source? Because when you fill yourself up with that, when you get jostled, you are even surprised by that’s what’s coming out instead of what should be coming out.

Ann (27:04):

I didn’t even think to say that it’s just coming out of my mouth. And that’s the power of the Holy Spirit and our surrender and yes to Jesus. And if our kids can see that in us, I think that’s the beautiful thing of legacy. Hopefully they’ll say, I want that too.

Abbie (27:19):

Yes. And I feel like it’s important to note that if someone’s going, “That’s not what’s coming out of me. My kids are not seeing that,” there is hope.

(27:28):

And always an opportunity to repent. And I would actually much rather be a very imperfect mom for my kids, that when I do screw up, I give them the example of confessing and repenting and turning away from sin and fleeing than to be the perfect mom that when—”there is no such thing,”—but to hide it all and pretend like I was always right. They get to situations in their life where they clearly are not right, and they’re too prideful to repent because I’ve set that example for them. Or they get to parenting, and they start thinking, “I’m broken. My mom was perfect, and I’ve got to live up to that standard.” Instead of showing them that you’re human and you’re desperately in need of a Savior, because that’s ultimately what will point them to the cross.

Ann (28:13):

And it’s never too late to start. You might be thinking, I have failed so miserably. It’s been all about me, or I’ve just been run by my emotions. I mean, Jesus is always right there, right there with us, saying, it’s not too late. Just ask me today. Come to me.

Dave (28:28):

I’ll tell you when I hear your title, here’s what I think, and I’d love your comment, I think of Psalm 127. I’ll read it to you.

Abbie (28:36):

Children are heritage, is that where we’re going?

Dave (28:37):

“Children are heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”

Abbie (28:54):

Yeah.

Dave (28:55):

I mean, that’s what you’re saying, right?

Abbie (28:57):

The Bible is really clear.

Dave (28:58):

You bet your stretch marks.

Abbie (28:59):

That’s right. Children are a blessing, You Bet Your Stretch Marks, absolutely.

Ann:

And if you want to get Abbie’s book, you can go to our show notes. We have a link there, and you can get that.

Dave (29:09):

Which is at FamilyLifeToday.com.

Ann (29:12):

And You Bet Your Stretch Marks, you’re going to want to get this one too. It’s a great title. It’s a great book. So Abbie, thanks for being with us.

Abbie:

Thanks for having me.

Ann:

Hey, thanks for watching. And if you liked this episode—

Dave (29:25):

You better like it.

Ann (29:26):

—just hit that “Like” button.

Dave (29:27):

And we’d like you to subscribe. So all you got to do is go down and hit the “Subscribe”—I can’t say the word subscribe. Hit the “Subscribe” button. I don’t think I can say this word.

Ann:

Like and subscribe.

Dave:

Look at that. You say it so easy. Subscribe, there it goes.

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